I’ve seen it:
Maybe people get into the compassion business full-time not because they’re more compassionate than others but because they’re codependent. Maybe the driving force is really inverted narcissism — an unhealthy and unexamined addiction to care-taking or to self-neglect.
via Nonprofit Pathology – Dan Pallotta – Harvard Business Review.
Behaviors that have the appearance of virtue and care, but lead to excessive self-sacrifice and a compulsive need to be seen as the rescuer, savior and martyr. A difficult, if not impossible thing to manage within an INGO (International Non-Government Organization).
I didn’t realize it until I was working with an INGO in Mozambique. One perspective is that the INGO provided Mozambicans with an opportunity for a better life and Mozambicans should be grateful. Another, and one that became apparent in trying to hire foreign workers in the country, is that Mozambique was providing an opportunity to foreigners – to find their self-worth in helping – and they should be grateful. Codependence?
Perhaps it is not just the developing countries that need to learn to be less dependent, but also the care-giving foreign organizations that work within them.